


It Isn't All I Can Handle

by gaygreekgladiator (ama)



Category: Spartacus Series (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-20
Updated: 2013-02-20
Packaged: 2017-11-29 22:55:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/692508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ama/pseuds/gaygreekgladiator
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mira is tired of never having enough. Chadara isn't sure how much she can give.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Isn't All I Can Handle

**Author's Note:**

  * For [amorekay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/amorekay/gifts).



> song prompt: "Keep Me In Your Pocket," by Charlotte Martin

At first, Mira’s not there to dance. She came because Naevia wanted to, and because she really, really needs a drink and loud music and attention from guys whom she can brush off without the least bit of guilt. She didn’t expect Chadara to be there. Or maybe she was counting on it. She’s not sure.

In any case, she spots Chadara as soon as she sits at the bar. She looks good. Happy. Her hair falls over one shoulder, and she keeps shaking her head impatiently when it falls into her face. She leans on people’s arm and talks directly into their ears, flirtatious, as they dance. Mira knows her habit: everybody gets one song. It’s what Chadara does, when she doesn’t have a date, because she doesn’t like anybody to feel left out. One song.

So when she grabs Rhaskos for a second time and coaxes him onto the dance floor, Mira knows she’s been spotted, and she knows she’s being teased. She watches with a frown as Rhaskos paws at Chadara’s body, and Chadara just rolls her eyes. Finally, as the song ends, Mira drains her drink and walks over to them before she can convince herself not to.

“Can I cut in?”

Chadara shouts a greeting and hugs Mira tight, pressing a kiss to her cheek. Her hands fall to Mira’s waist and she spins them around, away from Rhaskos, deeper into the crowd of people.

“I haven’t seen you in forever,” she says over the music.

“Haven’t been around much. Busy, you know. How’s it going?”

“Good. You?”

“Yeah.”

They stop talking, and Mira runs her hands over Chadara’s arms. A smile curves Chadara’s lips as Mira’s hands lock behind her neck. Her hands guide Mira in a regular rhythm, back and forth, that doesn’t even match the music, but Mira doesn’t mind. They’ve done this before. It’s always the same song, the same place, the same dance. She wants to close her eyes, but that would mean missing the devilish grin on Chadara’s face, and the sway of her hair when she moves, and the laughter that splits her face when she pulls back and snaps forward again.

When the song ends, Chadara drifts away as though she’s going to leave, and Mira grabs her hand. It’s hot; her skin feels flushed, and sweat drips down the back of Chadara’s neck.

“One more dance?” she asks.

“I need a break; want to join me?”

Mira nods and they go to coat check, where Chadara can fish her cigarettes out of her pocket and Mira fetches her old jacket. Outside it’s cold, but Chadara doesn’t seem to notice. She smokes quietly for a few long moments, staring out into the street. Mira watches her.

“So, what’s going on?” Chadara says finally. “You said you’ve been busy.”

“Oh. Yeah. Work, mostly. And I just couldn’t—couldn’t deal with all of this, you know? Being around… everyone.”

She means being around Spartacus, who still isn’t speaking to her, and Naevia and Crixus, who are too damn happy, and Agron who as it turns out is more loyal than she is, and Nasir who just doesn't understand, and Chadara. She takes a deep breath.

“Too bad. We’ve missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” Mira says quietly before she realizes that that’s not what Chadara said.

Chadara sighs and breaths smoke into the night air. She puts out her cigarette against the brick wall and steps closer. Her arms cup up to rest on Mira’s shoulders, her fingers playing absently with Mira’s long, dark hair.

“Mira… do you want to take me home?”

“I want to take you to dinner.”

Chadara smiles sadly and kisses her lightly on the lips.

“No you don’t.”

“I do.”

“I know you. You want love to be easy, and not painful, and… you don’t want me.”

Mira swallows thickly. She’s been distant, recently. She knows that. And her reaction after Spartacus was… not the best. But Chadara is wrong. Mira wants her. She wants her in the early morning sunlight when she’s too sleepy to smile yet, and laughing on the couch as she kicks off her painful shoes, and ranting angrily after unfair parking tickets, and crying tears of frustration when nothing goes right. She wants to get into raw screaming fights because silence is worse, and long conversations over bitter coffee.

She hugs Chadara’s waist close and rests her head against her shoulder.

“I do, though. And I know—I know I’ve made mistakes. I don’t expect you to forgive me. But I can understand you, I know I can. I understand you better than I do most people lately, and it’s easy. Natural.”

Chadara laughs.

“Mira. _This_ is easy. This is dancing and drinks. It’s not the same.”

Mira kisses her beneath her ear, and Chadara shudders.

“I can handle more. I can take all of you, every piece. I’m—I’m tired of not having enough. I want you.”

Chadara shivers again, and Mira realizes that it’s cold, and Chadara doesn’t have any sleeves. She pulls away and strips off her coat, and Chadara accepts it mutely.

“I need another drink," Mira says. "I’m going to go inside.”

“Okay.”

She back to the club, feeling like she’s just made a complete idiot out of herself, and she reaches the door just as Chadara speaks softly.

“I already had dinner.”

Mira turns around.

“Me, too.”

Chadara looks nervous, standing there in a too-big olive coat with a burnt-out cigarette in her hand. She shifts her weight and lifts her chin, and then she’s bold again, and Mira can’t believe how fast her heart is pounding.

“Maybe a late-night snack, though. Coffee. Something.”

“Something,” Mira agrees with a smile. _Everything_.


End file.
